i am quite confused now. during the course of mtr, loads of people shared their feelings, opened up and shared their stories.

many apologised, most made promises, nearly all decided that they were going to change for the better.

i distinctively remembered that after i said my piece to clarify the letters, there was little claps, very little. perhaps it was my tone, or perhaps it was the content. i didnt really resolute to want to change anything, but really just made a blatant statement that "this is who i am".

as joyce said a few days later, perhaps the others should accommodate more and accept everyone for who they are, instead of forcing them to make changes.

i think alot of people got constructive feedback. while, i only received nearly useless information. really, is that what you all see of me? make it seems as if you are superficial. also makes me feel like i am superficial.

very funny. stop touching girls.

and this were all the letters were about.

i found the session particularly interesting, intriguing, but also vexing. i need someone who can read into me and tell me who i am. as cy said today "i dont really know the real you."

i need someone capable of psychoanalysing me. i remember that bill was psychoanalysing people and sharing his opinions about them. when i told him to try psychoanalysing me, all he said was "no. you are too kind" did he mean that i was so kind he didnt want to hurt me or did he really just mean that i am a kind sycophant?

i try to understand people and try to read into their actions. but i cant even read myself.

vexed.

♥ 11:20 PM